Eyes flick back and forth between the whiteboard and clock on the laptop screen. The buzz of conversation swarms around me like frenzied bees to a hive. All energy and focus lies on the grey suited figure at the head of the rectangular table. The small glass room is electrified with energy and tension. Things need to be done, action taken. Fingers move at lightning speed capturing minutes, thoughts, moments. Grey suit leans in, “we need to get onside with this new direction”. Pulled in like magnets our bodies sway forward as we nod.
The meeting comes to a close, I walk back to my desk to field emails, answer calls, engage in dialogue. Clock hits ending time, I rush to grab my things, and dive into the thick sea of people, I blend into the surroundings as I move through the motion. I veer right, running up the stairs, I hop onto the train to begin heading homeward bound.
Thoughts ping pong against the walls of my mind of things unsorted and tasks ahead. The old train jostles through tunnels, the mind mimics- pause and go on all my “to dos”. This rusted box of shifting gears, sway as breaks engage, passengers wobble around me like tipsy dominos threatening to fall.
How does one calm the mind, separate the thoughts of the job and shift into the mental space needed to feed the creative spirit inside? Somedays, I struggle to come down from the chaotic whirlwind of decisions and experiences of all that transpires during the day. I’m sure we all had those moments where our other jobs: the 9-5, the 24/7 parental role or life and its obligations, negate our efforts by distracting and depleting our energy.
During times like these I find the best recourse is to fully give in to my mode of relaxation. Letting go, knowing I may not put any words to paper that day. It’s about learning the difference between honouring the commitment I’ve make to my craft and listening to my body’s need to recalibrate. To remember to find balance, keep whole.